Beast Writes: Janky Deck Builder, Comical Horrors

Hello mages! Beast here, I know it has been quite some time and you may not remember me. If you want to see some of my other stuff on this site, take a look at Mr. President's (Niian's) videos from about two years ago and the lore cast about Theros, and whatever drunk gaming we did that I do not remember. If you are wondering what happened to me....let's be honest you aren't Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy, this will be a series of articles involving budget and casual decks that may be fun to look into due to the weird janky feel and maybe even a strange combo effect.

Deck List

This week we will address primary concerns of a selfish nature, or not. What happens when Black wants to share? When the selfish become givers, you get cards like Demonic Pact and give your opponent 4 turns to accept their fate. Well a much more immediate effect would be to cause them to not only destroy a creature they control and deal either 7 or 14 damage turn 5ish, slow but fun! We can find that in a card titled Cosmic Horror. The card is a 7/7 horror for 3BBB and reads, "At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy Cosmic Horror unless you pay 3BBB. If Cosmic Horror is destroyed this way, it deals 7 damage to you." However, if you do not control it and cheated it out before turn 6 there is no possible way your opponent could pay the cost and would automatically take 7 to the face. 

"But Beast, how are you going to do something so evil and for so cheap??!?!!?"

Good question random reader who hasn't checked out the deck list posted at the bottom and top of the article! Well sometimes in deck building there really is no alternative, you have to suck up and bite your wallet for the strategy or you go too far into the jank-zone. In this case, we will be relying on the entomb-reanimate powerhouse that is to get the Horror into the graveyard and then onto the field at the prime opportunity. Then you back that up with a solid amount of counterspells because nothing hurts more than someone trying to do what their deck wants to do or trying to stop your deck, therefore we must encroach into blue territory as well. Before the fire starts, yes I am aware that there are cards with similar effects and combos to do so, but none are that gloriously efficient! When it comes to sticking to the gooey Vorthos that resides in all of us, we end up at the crossroads between flavor and budget and I took the path so traveled it had a car and it felt good!!!! Muahahaha. Besides, every card in this deck can be bought for less than $5 excluding one set of the dual lands. Considering this is technically legacy/vintage legal that is pretty freaking amazing in Black and Blue.

Speaking of making your opponent black and blue......let's talk about finishers.

Okay so you shuffled, threw down dual lands and cast counterspells for the first 3-4 turns and put 2-3 Horrors into your graveyard. Now you lay down the law and slap down a Puca's Mischief (damn shapeshifters making all the trouble) or a Endless Whispers. If you layed the Mischief down, now you just dig up a few Horrors with Reanimate and watch your opponent cringe when its your next turn and they lose a creature while you get to deal them 7 to the face on their turn. This gift gets even sweeter if you cast the Endless Whispers, then you get to find ways to sacrifice your Lovecraft scented creature to Rite of Consumption and deal 14 damage for one or to Accursed Centaur and get a 2/2 body out of the exchange. No matter what your opponent will be dead on turn 5 or 6 and you get to walk away a happy man knowing you gave to a lesser being, Santa may even bring two pieces of coal for you this year young demon!

Deck List

Thank you all for tuning in this week to a Beast ranting and raving about weird Magic the Gathering cards for potential deck building purposes and reading about a super cheap Legacy deck! (Am I the only one picturing a demon-wolf, hard cider in hand, yelling at a screen in English intermingled with Spanish swears?) Next week I will talk about a list I just made in paper, that's right IRL folks, my first vintage deck.

 Izzet just too much of a clue foR you to Search for an answer to my riddle?